The Ultimate Guide to Gay Dating Slang

Navigating the world of online gay dating can feel like traversing a language labyrinth. Have you ever felt like you need a decoder ring just to understand what someone is saying? Don't worry; you're not alone. With new expressions popping up faster than you can send a flirty meme, it’s easy to feel lost. But fear not! We’ve put together this comprehensive guide to help you decode the jargon of love and lust in the digital age. Let’s dive in! 🤓

Understanding Online Gay Dating

Online dating has revolutionized the way we connect, especially within the LGBTQ+ community. Platforms like ROMEO have become essential spaces for meeting potential partners, but with that comes a unique set of slang and terms that might need some explanation. Whether you're new to the scene or a seasoned dater, understanding these terms can enhance your experience and communication.

Why Gay Dating Slang Matters

Slang terms are more than just words; they represent identities, preferences, and facets of culture. Knowing these terms can help you better understand potential matches and express your own identity more clearly.

Common Slang Terms and Their Meanings

Let’s break down some of the most commonly used slang terms in gay dating to help you navigate conversations with ease.

420 (Friendly)

If someone mentions 420, it means they enjoy smoking marijuana. The term originated in the United States in the 1970s, and April 20th (or 4/20) has become a counterculture holiday where people gather to celebrate and smoke weed.

Anon

Anon is short for "anonymous." It refers to individuals who prefer to keep their identity hidden during initial interactions. This might mean not revealing much about themselves or even hiding their appearance with a mask or blindfold.

Example Usage:
“He likes anon, so he'll probably wait for you blindfolded, on all fours, with the door open.”

AP (Ass Play)

AP stands for "ass play," encompassing any activities that involve playful engagement with the buttocks. This can include anything from touching with fingers to using toys or engaging in fisting.

BB (Bareback)

BB refers to having anal sex without a condom. It’s essential to make informed decisions and understand the risks associated with such sexual practices.

BDSM

BDSM stands for "Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism." It includes activities and role-playing dynamics like master/slave or dom/sub relationships, involving things like tying up, blindfolding, or inflicting/receiving pain.

Important Note: Wearing a leather harness doesn’t automatically make someone deeply involved in BDSM.

BD (Bondage and Domination)

BD combines "Bondage" and "Dominance," focusing specifically on activities related to tying up partners and asserting control.

Bear

A Bear is someone who is typically hairy and large, often exuding a rugged masculinity. 🐻

BJ (Blowjob)

BJ is short for "blowjob," referring to oral sex performed on a man. 😉

Bubblebutt

Bubblebutt describes someone with round, firm, and well-shaped buttocks. It’s a playful way to highlight physical attributes. 🍑

Fun Fact: Why is everyone so obsessed with a big ol’ bubblebutt these days?

CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)

CBT involves activities that inflict pain or discomfort on the male genitalia, such as squeezing, twisting, or using toys or devices.

Chastity

Chastity often indicates that someone's genitals are locked or caged, implying a submissive role or being "owned" by a master.

Rhetorical Question:
Are you a true submissive? Here's a little chastity cage for you. No more doubts now.

CPL (Couple)

CPL simply stands for a couple, often used to describe two people in a relationship.

Cruising

Cruising refers to engaging in sexual activities in public or outdoor settings, like parks or saunas. It can also mean seeking sexual encounters online, usually within public contexts.

Tip: If you love meeting in public places, check out our full blog on public cruising tips.

Cub

A Cub is a younger or smaller version of a Bear, often with a leaner build. 🐻

DILF (Dad I'd Like to Fuck)

DILF refers to a man who embodies fatherly qualities but doesn’t need to be an actual father. He must exude a paternal energy and charisma to earn this title.

Dirty

Dirty means having kinky or taboo sexual interests. This can include fetishes like watersports or scatophilia.

Discret/DL (Down Low)

DL stands for "Down Low," describing someone who is not openly out and prefers to keep their sexuality hidden. They might avoid sharing personal photos or details about themselves.

Dom (Dominant)

Dom is short for "dominant," referring to someone who takes control in a BDSM relationship. Dominants often prefer partners who are submissive.

DP (Double Penetration)

DP involves two penises in one orifice simultaneously. 🍆🕳️🍆

Metaphor: When talking about a wolf, you see both tails.

DTF (Down to Fuck)

DTF means someone is ready and willing to have sex without any strings attached.

Edging

Edging is a technique where one brings themselves or a partner close to orgasm repeatedly but stops before reaching climax. This can lead to a more intense orgasm in the end.

FF (Fist Fucking)

FF refers to inserting a hand, fist, or even an arm into the anus. For those who enjoy fisting, specify whether you’re passive or active on your ROMEO profile.

Reassurance:
People often think it's painful, but it can be a lot of fun!

Sexfriend

A Sexfriend is someone looking for a casual sexual relationship without the commitment of a romantic partnership.

Furry

A Furry is someone passionate about anthropomorphic animal characters, often dressing up or using animal personas online.

Gaymer

A Gaymer is a gay individual who loves playing video games.

Gear

Gear means being sexually excited by certain clothing or accessories, such as leather, latex, harnesses, chains, or full outfits.

Ghosting

Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without explanation. 👻

Group Sex

Group refers to engaging in sexual activities with multiple people at the same time.

XL/XXL

XL/XXLtranslates to "Very Well Endowed," indicating a large penis. 🍆

wlf? (LOOKING FOR?)

wlf ? is shorthand for "Tu cherches?" meaning "What are you looking for?" This is often used in conversations to inquire about someone's sexual interests or what they seek on the app.

LTR (Long-Term Relationship)

LTR stands for "Long-Term Relationship," used by those seeking a serious and committed partnership.

Monogamy

Monogamy refers to seeking an exclusive relationship with one partner, encompassing romantic, intimate, and sexual aspects.

Hors-Milieu

Hors-Milieu describes someone who avoids gay and queer spaces like clubs or bars, often frequenting heteronormative settings instead.

NSA (No Strings Attached)

NSA means "No Strings Attached," signifying casual, non-committal sexual relationships or one-night stands.

Otter

Otter describes someone who is relatively tall, slim, and hairy, similar to a Bear but usually with a leaner build.

Fun Line:
Whether you're a Bear, a Cub, or an Otter, embrace your unique self!

Poly (Polyamorous)

Poly stands for "Polyamorous," indicating a person who engages in multiple simultaneous romantic or sexual relationships with the knowledge of all partners.

Poz

Poz indicates that someone is HIV positive.

Public

Public refers to enjoying sexual activities or indulgences in public spaces. If you're curious, check out our blog on "Steamy Stories: Adventures with Guys."

Safety Reminder:
Always be cautious and respectful when engaging in public activities.

Pup/Puppy Play

Pup/Puppy Play is a fetish where individuals dress up and act like puppies, using accessories like masks, tails, and collars. It’s not about real animals but about role-playing and sometimes sexual activities. 🐶

Queer

Queer is a broad term for identities and orientations that don’t conform to traditional heterosexual and cisgender norms.

Safe Sex

Safe sex involves practices that reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as using condoms, taking PrEP, or maintaining an undetectable viral load.

Key Point:
Everyone has the right to define their own safe sex practices. Communication is crucial when discussing your preferences.

Scat

Scat is short for scatophilia, a fetish involving feces.

Side

Side describes individuals who prefer not to engage in anal sex, focusing instead on activities like oral sex, masturbation, or using toys.

SM (Sadomasochism)

SM stands for "Sadomasochism," enjoying giving or receiving pain as part of sexual pleasure.

Sober

Sober means someone who does not consume drugs or alcohol.

Sub (Submissive)

Sub is short for "submissive," a person who enjoys being dominated in a BDSM relationship.

TasP (Treatment as Prevention)

TasP means "Treatment as Prevention," indicating someone living with HIV who is on antiretroviral therapy making their viral load undetectable and untransmittable.

Motto:
U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable).

Toys

Toys refer to sexual devices like dildos, anal plugs, and other gadgets used to enhance sexual experiences.

TT (Tit Torture)

TT stands for "Tit Torture," involving activities like biting, twisting, or using clamps on the nipples.

Twink

Twink describes a young, slim, and often smooth-haired man. Known for their vibrant energy and sometimes excessive caffeine consumption. 🥤

French Equivalent:
"Minet."

Twunk

Twunk is a combination of "twink" and "hunk," describing a person who has muscular build while retaining a youthful appearance.

TV (Travesti)

TV stands for "Travesti," referring to individuals who dress in clothing traditionally associated with the opposite gender.

Indétectable (Undetectable)

Indétectable means someone with HIV who is on effective treatment, making the virus undetectable and untransmittable. The term "U=U" stands for Undetectable = Untransmittable.

Vanilla

Vanilla describes sexual activities that are considered conventional and free of any fetishes or kink.

WS (Water Sports)

WS stands for "Water Sports," which involves urination-related activities as part of sexual play, like golden showers.

Funny Note:
"Dis Siri, play 'Rain' by Madonna."

Tips for Navigating Gay Dating Slang

1. Stay Informed: Keep up with new slang terms by engaging with the community and following relevant blogs.
2. Ask Questions: If you're unsure about a term, don’t hesitate to ask your match for clarification.
3. Be Open-Minded: Embrace the diversity of terms and what they represent about individual preferences.
4. Communicate Clearly: Use these terms to express your own interests and boundaries effectively.
5. Respect Privacy: Understand that some terms relate to sensitive topics; approach with respect and empathy.

Embracing the Language of Love

Understanding gay dating slang is more than just deciphering words; it's about connecting with a community and expressing your authentic self. Embrace the diversity of terms, communicate openly, and enjoy the rich tapestry of experiences that come with online gay dating.

Conclusion

Navigating the slang of gay dating might seem daunting at first, but with a little knowledge and openness, you'll find that it enhances your connections and understanding of potential partners. Remember, the world of online dating is vast and varied, and embracing its unique language can lead to more meaningful and enjoyable interactions. So, get out there, use your new-found vocabulary, and start building those connections!

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What does "LGBTQ+" stand for?

Answer:
LGBTQ+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, and others. It represents a diverse range of sexual orientations and gender identities.

2. How can I use slang respectfully in conversations?

Answer:
Use slang terms you’re familiar with, avoid assumptions, and always prioritize consent and respect. If unsure, ask your partner about their preferences and boundaries.

3. What does "U=U" mean in the context of HIV?

Answer:
"U=U" stands for Undetectable = Untransmittable. It means that individuals with HIV who maintain an undetectable viral load cannot transmit the virus to others.

4. How do I approach someone who uses a lot of slang in their profile?

Answer:
Take the time to understand the terms they use, show genuine interest in their interests, and communicate openly about any uncertainties you may have.

5. Is it necessary to use all these slang terms to fit in?

Answer:
No, it's not necessary to use every slang term. Use the ones that resonate with you and feel natural. Authenticity is key in building meaningful connections.